My kids say I have always been “so extra” about birthdays. It’s true that over the years, whenever the financial means were there, I always made a huge deal about their birthdays. Birthdays were always really-good-but-not-a-HUGE-deal-like-Christmas when I was young, and I’ve often wondered why I was so about them.
I think what I’m realizing is that I make a big deal out of them because I am genuinely SO happy I got to be their mother for another year that I NEED to celebrate it. I feel so profoundly lucky to have gotten to share life with these three souls. They are each so uniquely and fully delightful that I can’t imagine what I did to be lucky enough to have earned the honor of knowing them. It’s breathtaking to me, sometimes. I’d take any excuse to revel and celebrate that feeling of meeting them!! It’s just so…wow.
I’m sure that just like every human ever, they probably all think that they don’t do enough to make me proud, or that I’m somehow disappointed in them. Literally nothing could be further from the truth. I will always love and be so honored to have raised them; it’s not something they have to earn or are capable of losing. It will always be there. I’m so proud of them.
Which leads me to wonder if all of us who feel like we disappointed or weren’t enough for our parents are actually way off base. Maybe we should go easy on ourselves. We are, truly, remarkable souls.