Something I’d like to change

Today, I overheard one of my coworkers speaking with a client. “Did you make it ok – how were those stairs for you? I always find them a bit steep and hard to climb.” I sighed a breath of relief and I didn’t even know I’d been tense; I struggle with those stairs, but didn’t realize it was because they were steep. I just thought it was because I have mono and I’m out of shape. I’d been a little embarrassed about it internally, but said nothing.

I started wondering how often life is like that. We’re fighting through some experience and we think the only reason it’s so hard for us is because we’re weak and lazy…but in reality, the experience IS really difficult, and everyone who lives through it struggles.

I don’t know if everyone does this or if it’s just me, but I am so hard on myself. I’m so quick to insult myself for not being good enough, for not trying hard enough. I’m hard on myself for even admitting something is a struggle, as if acknowledging that something is difficult is a weakness and makes me less than.

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