Ahh, avoidance. My old friend. Something makes you feel nervous and uncomfortable? Pretend it isn’t there!! You’ll only feel easily twice as uncomfortable because you know you’re avoiding it. YAY!
A good opportunity has come into my life. I wasn’t in a bad place currently, but for many various and sundry reasons, not the least of which is my own professional growth, this is better. If what I’d been working on currently was actually bad for me, the ending of the relationship would be easy…as it is, it’s hard for me to deal with. There will be questions to answer, arguments, uncomfortable talks about boundary setting. I want to run away.
But realization that this is what’s happening is progress. Instead of looking away, going over all the negative possibilities, rehashing old fears, I’m going to focus on appreciating the way the sunlight peeks through my curtains and brightens my room and the little trill my cat does when she’s excited in the morning. I’m going to get up, get going, and take these two beautiful experiences with me as I go deal with my day. Whatever the day holds I will manage it, and I will come back to these sunlit trills again.